Gamersmint Review: Bayonetta

What is common between God Hand, Okami and Madworld? Yes, these are great games…which YOU did not play. Shame on you! No matter how good a game Platinum Games (formerly known as Clover Studios) end up making, the poor chaps just don’t seem to catch a break. While critics recognize and applaud these games for their brilliance, the average consumer does not care much about them. It’s sad how hype and fanboyism can derail true works of art. Hideki Kamiya (creator of Resident Evil and Devil May Cry) deserves better…much, much better. So has Bayonetta finally broken the curse for Platinum Games?

Hell yeah!

The Story

It all begins on one stormy night, atop a derelict tower; as the two sons of Sparda fight it out for…hold on, that doesn’t sound right! The tones of similarities between Bayonetta and Devil May Cry, which exist both in setting and gameplay, cannot be overlooked. However, the story in Bayonetta is so extremely nonsensical, that it is almost borderline non-existent. The Umbra Witches, keepers of the dark, are at war with the Angels who…you guessed it…are the keepers of light. The witches ultimately win the war but are burnt down by the humans for…well…being witches. I’m sure we all would have done the same if we saw a chick punching people silly with nothing but her hair. This is where the conveniently amnesiac, buxom Bayonetta (who miraculously survived) comes in. Helped by Laurence Fishburne (you wish) from the Matrix and Danny De Vito (annoying wannabe) from L.A Confidential, Bayonetta battles horrible voice-acting, crappy script and finally the Demon Barber from Fleet Street, who is running around town with scissors. Oh, and there are some ugly, baby-faced angels who apparently deserve a spanking because they stole Bayonetta’s shampoo.

As you can see, my inference of the story is a little bit hazy but I dare you to do better. My advice is that players should absolutely disregard the story and skip all cutscenes that they can. If you have bought Bayonetta expecting a deep storyline and an emotional experience, I will you not blame you if you feel robbed or cheated. This is a game which solely depends upon its combat mechanics. The story is just a lousy excuse to throw you into the combat…where the meat of the game lies. And when it comes to gameplay, no way in hell Bayonetta is having a bad hair day.

Gameplay

Let’s get one thing out of the way. Bayonetta’s combat IS the standard that all other games will have to measure up to from now onwards. Agreed that the story is downright horrific but who needs a story with gameplay as sublime as this. Hideki Kamiya has ingeniously infused a simplistic control scheme with an unimaginably deep combat system. There are so many facets to Bayonetta’s combat, it will be a miracle if I can capture them all in words.

Bayonetta is equipped with four guns; two for her hands and two for her legs. Yes, you read that right. Guns strapped to her legs. But that’s not where the craziness ends. The witch’s hair makes up her body suit and is also used to perform lethal attacks and finishers which are naughtily named ‘Climaxes’ (mainly because during a Climax, Bayonetta is almost bare naked).

As you progress through the game, you will gain weapons like a demonic katana, fire/lightning gauntlets, a whip, shotguns, rocket launchers and even a pair of ice skates. The master stroke over here, however, is the ability to strap weapons to your limbs in any combination you see fit. For example, you can have Bayonetta hold the katana in her hands while she wields the gauntlets with her feet. And there is nothing quite like watching Bayonetta skate around the environment, whipping them naughty angels. Every equipped weapon opens up a whole new set of combos that can be employed to slice and dice your foes. Knowing Hideki Kamiya, you can expect hundreds of combos which can all be practiced during the loading screens. Of course, Bayonetta can also pick up the weapons of the fallen angels (heh heh) to deal some major damage.

Next Page – Gameplay Continued

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